COCONUT INVASION

COCONUT INVASION

PLANETARY THREAT: EXTREMELY STUPID

An empire of armed coconuts has mistaken Earth's oceans for premium coconut water. You are the entire defence. Drag to fly, the guns handle themselves.

Coming to the App Store Support
The title screen, styled as an Earth defence terminal: an invasion alert, the Coconut Emperor held in a targeting crosshair over the planet, and a DEFEND EARTH button.
Earth defence terminal
Gameplay: a cyan starfighter firing upward at a formation of armed brown coconuts, with the curve of Earth glowing at the bottom of the screen.
Coconut wave one
Gameplay: the Coconut Emperor filling the top of the screen with its health bar draining, amber plasma falling toward the player.
The Coconut Emperor
The defence log screen listing best defence, furthest wave, defence sorties, coconuts cracked and time on duty.
Defence log

What it is

  • Endless coconut waves Difficulty climbs and never stops. There is only how long Earth lasts.
  • Three bosses The Coconut Emperor, a Nut Mother that launches swarms, and The Hard Shell, whose rotating shield you have to read.
  • Five starfighters Earned by your best score. They change how your ship looks, never how it handles — there is no wrong pick.
  • One hand, one thumb Drag anywhere to fly. The ship rides above your finger so it is never hidden.
  • One payment Two free sorties, then unlock it once and keep it. No subscription, no ads, no second purchase.
  • Nothing collected No analytics, no tracking, no account. Your scores never leave your device.

First contact

At 03:17, lunar radar spotted a coconut in space.

At 03:18, everyone laughed.

At 03:19, it shot the Moon.

Now the Coconut Empire is coming for Earth. They claim our oceans are "premium coconut water" and our planet is one very large drink with continents floating in it.

Our best plan is you, one starfighter, and an alarming number of lasers. Protect Earth. Crack shells. Do not let the Coconut Emperor find a straw.

Privacy, briefly

Coconut Invasion collects no data. No analytics, no tracking, no advertising, no account, and no network requests of its own. Scores, statistics, settings and your chosen starfighter are stored on your device and never sent anywhere. The only network activity is the App Store purchase itself, which Apple handles — we never see it.

Read the full privacy policy →

Requirements

iPhone running iOS 17 or later. Coconut Invasion is a single one-time purchase of the full game after two free sorties. Purchases restore across your devices through the same Apple Account.